


I Can't Get No Sleep

by jb_slasher



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, Team Finland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-19
Updated: 2006-06-19
Packaged: 2017-11-10 08:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/464313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jb_slasher/pseuds/jb_slasher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Esa leans on the doorframe of the bathroom, watches the sleeping figure on the bed, smiles to himself.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can't Get No Sleep

Esa leans on the door frame of the bathroom, watches the sleeping figure on the bed, smiles to himself. He walks to the window and opens it, lets the cool night air into the hotel room. He presses his forehead on the window, breaths in, thinks it's cleansing, purifying somehow. Then he turns towards the large twin-bed again. Jussi is clutching the pillow, the blanket only slightly covering his naked body. Esa sighs, not in frustration but in amazement at the sight of the slightly older man, breathing steadily on the bed that they share tonight.

Jussi's back is pale in the moonlight, Esa can see the muscles there, and the desire to touch Jussi grabs hold of him. He takes the few steps to the bed and sits next to Jussi, lets his hand land on Jussi's shoulder. His fingers start making nonsensical patterns on the warm skin there, slowly as not to wake Jussi up. The room is getting cold though and Jussi shivers slightly in his sleep. Esa watches him, presses a kiss on his shoulder blade and as much as he wouldn't want to leave Jussi's side, he forces himself up and closes the window.

He's glad they don't have to play tomorrow, so they can have a little break, sleep in maybe, but he just doesn't like seeing Jussi sitting on the side. Noronen is good, yeah, and he knows he's not exactly neutral when it comes to his... yeah, two years of these somewhat unintentional encounters and for some reason he feels like they're not entirely unintentional anymore, since he's started thinking of the word "lover" more than he did a year ago. Lover, boyfriend, companion, soul-mate... all the words that might fit to describe what Jussi is to him, but none of them fit, because they haven't talked about it, so he doesn't really know.

But he's with Jussi now and he shouldn't be thinking about such things at 2:30 in the morning. He broods a lot nowadays, thinks about this - "arrangement" is not the word, but it'll do - more and more when they're apart, thinks about Jussi, thinks about the words Esa is too afraid to just speak. Sometimes he mentally slaps himself, tells himself to get his shit back together again, that this isn't helping.

He lets out another sigh, this time out of pure frustration and fuck, he should know better than to think when he's sitting next to the man he fucking adores... and is too afraid to say it, because if this is just an arrangement, what's he gonna do if it ends thanks to his babbling? He's not going to take that chance of messing it up, at least not when Jussi is awake.

Esa sometimes whispers those things when he's sure Jussi is asleep. Asks him what this is; are they lovers, boyfriends, companions, soul-mates; does he love Esa? And before he knows it, he's doing it again, whispering all those things like it's the most natural thing in the world and he's not even sure if he's whispering or if Jussi's even asleep anymore and since his eyes are open, Esa thinks not but he still can't stop himself from asking and when he finally does, he doesn't even realize the last thing he asked was "Do you love me?". And now Jussi is looking up at him - Esa is either too freaked out or too confused to comprehend what his expression means - and sitting up.

"What kind of a question is that? Of course I do."

And Esa is not sure what to respond to that and before he can even move, Jussi is drawing Esa into his arms and into his kiss. And when that mouth covers Esa's own, he finally knows what this is, but could care less and then he's horizontal and Jussi is pressing him down into the mattress and Esa won't be doing much of thinking for the rest of the night.


End file.
